In our first few blog posts, we’re looking at how we can make it easier to plan your loved one’s future. In this post, we’re considering what you can do in advance to prepare for that challenging conversation where you try to make a plan with your loved one.
Here’s the thing: It’s difficult to talk with our loved one about their care as they grow older. It’s difficult for them, but it’s also difficult for us. Why? Because we tend to think of them as larger-than-life characters. They’re always there for us when we need guidance, support, and help. However, if you’re reading this, you’ve probably noticed that you’re the one being called on for help.
“Perhaps you’re worried about how you will handle all the responsibilities of managing their life.”
It can be natural to initially ignore the signs that your loved one may need more help at home. However, denial may not be the only issue you’re facing. Perhaps you’re worried about how you will handle all the responsibilities of managing their life.
You may not want to accept it, or even think about it, but you should come to terms with the fact that, sooner or later, your loved one may need help. And that will mean having a conversation with them. But before you do that, it would help to research and prepare a little. So, here are four things you should think about.
1.Prepare To Discuss Your Loved One's Care
Maybe your loved one is still in rude health, experiencing a few medical challenges, or has received an unexpected diagnosis. Whatever the situation, consider the following suggestions to lay the groundwork for your conversation with them.
- Identify your concerns about your loved one’s condition. Join online or real-world groups for a deeper insight into their challenges.
- Discuss the situation with others like you who have loved ones who have faced, or are dealing with, a similar challenge. What conclusions did they come to, and what criteria did they use to make their decisions?
- Consider your situation. Can you understand and accept your loved one’s needs and desires? Can you put yourself in their shoes to understand how they are feeling?
Think about the most pressing topics. What do you need to discuss with your loved one? Which issues do you all need certainty on?
2. Consider What Your Loved One Will Need
Each person and their situation is different, so it is important to understand what your loved one will need. Remember: there is a difference between what you think they will need, and what they will really need.
For example, if they have recently suffered an accident, it is natural to want them to continue receiving the best care possible after leaving the hospital. But in many cases, 24-hour care in a facility will be too much, too soon. For many, in-home care may be the ideal choice. Your loved one, can still benefit from the attention of trained and registered medical staff, but in the comfort of their own home, so they can remain independent.
Ask yourself: “Where will they be happiest?” “Where will they be comfortable?” Sometimes it can be difficult to put ourselves in others’ shoes to answer these questions. So, try considering what your loved one values most about their life. This should help you to focus on what they would prefer.
Care For The Years Ahead
There is no way of knowing what conditions anyone may develop over the years to come and what type of care they might need. It’s best to try to plan for all eventualities but take one step at a time. Your parent might have had, let’s say, a fall. But a residential home might be a little premature.
For instance, you might look into in-home care instead to keep your loved one happy in their home with the peace of mind that comes with a daily visit from a registered professional. If you are considering other care options, it is worth questioning whether they can support any condition your loved one develops. For example, are their caregivers fully versed in all types of dementia?
The in-home care option means an appropriate specialist can be arranged to visit your parent. So your loved one’s care need not be limited.
Your Loved One’s Beliefs
If your loved one has strong beliefs or ties to a particular way of life, you should also consider that. Are you sure you will find a care home where staff and other residents will accept and respect their culture? It will be important to them that they feel comfortable and that they belong, wherever they are.
By hiring an in-home carer from EJAI Loves Homecare, you can interview suitable caregivers until you find the right fit.
3. Ask Yourself How Much You Can Do
You and your loved one may conclude that they can no longer live without assistance. In that case, you may decide to look after them as an unpaid caregiver so they can remain in their own home. This has the potential to be immensely rewarding as you will get to spend more quality time with your loved one. However, it might not be all plain sailing.
“In-home carers are reliable, trustworthy and have the expertise and experience to help your loved one remain in their home”
Do you and your loved one enjoy a good relationship? Might things get testy as time goes on? Could spending time together each day damage your relationship? Do you have the medical knowledge necessary to look after your loved one? How will you act in an emergency?
In-home carers are reliable, trustworthy, and have the expertise and experience to help your loved one to remain in a familiar environment, their own home, with as little disruption to their routine as possible.
4. Understand The Power Of Attorney
For many of us, money can be a sensitive topic. But this whole article is about preparing. Prepare now to avoid exacerbating an emergency later. With a clearer head, you’ll end up making better decisions.
When preparing for a chat with your loved one about their care, consider the power of attorney and control of your loved one’s finances.
Firstly, what is power of attorney? In a nutshell: Your loved one may give a trusted person the power of attorney if they cannot make their own decisions. In that case, power of attorney will be granted to someone other than your loved one. They will have the authority to manage your loved one’s finances.
Your loved one can stipulate how they would like their finances to be managed in the event of their sudden illness. With a predetermined power of attorney to manage their finances, they can rest knowing their bills will be paid.
5. Make A Plan For Legal and Medical Needs
We should always plan for the best, but prepare for the worst. With this in mind, consider how you will act in an emergency. This may include sitting with your loved one and putting all their important documents in one folder which will be kept in a safe place. Think of everything you will need to complete the folder. Such as marriage certificates, deeds, insurance policies, healthcare documents, etc. Consider investing in a fireproof lock box, or a safe deposit box to protect the folder and the documents.
"An up-to-date will would help to avoid later disagreements."
Do you know if your loved one has written their will? How about an executor for their will? Think about how you might bring this up. It can be a sensitive subject, so it would be a good idea to consider how to broach it. An up-to-date will would help to avoid later disagreements.
How about funeral arrangements? Yes, another delicate topic. But your loved one can help to pay for those costs by planning, and you can help them to plan.
We hope this post will help you to plan for the discussion you are planning with your family. It can be a challenging but necessary conversation. You are being responsible and caring by making the effort to plan, and put together some ideas for your loved one.
Consider the points presented in this article, whether you are considering taking on the role of full or part-time caregiver, looking to hire an in-home carer to deliver personal care, placing your loved one in assisted living, or a better-equipped facility.
Whether they are an elderly parent, a family member or a partner who is long-term disabled, or someone needing short-term care, you will feel more confident after reading this.
You may be considering in-home care. This choice would offer you and your family more flexibility, and your parent would have the opportunity to remain in their own home, maintaining more of their independence. EJAI Loves Homecare has an impeccable reputation and plenty of satisfied clients.
The team offers in-home care services from registered professionals in and around Tampa and St. Petersburg, Florida. They can visit as often as you like to bathe and dress your parent, administer medical treatment, prepare meals, keep your parent company, help with physical therapy, or simply check in with them.